During an initial therapy session, I often hear how long a problem, issue or difficulty has been around. Whether it has got worse, taken it’s toll or just changed to something or someone else, what becomes increasingly clear during the conversation is that people do not tend to come to therapy when they first need to, want to, or think to. Despite the impact, effect and sometimes devastation that a problem(s) can create for individuals, their lives and their relationships, therapy too often is approached when there is an increase or escalation in desperation, exhaustion, demand or despair. Of course there may be many reasons, simple and complex reasons that may hold you back and delay or avoid commencing therapy. However I think that many of those known, familiar reasons we could relate to, know of, empathise with or understand. Reasons such as time, cost, shame, fear, guilt, embarrassment,
What I begin to wonder is why, with universal or relatable reasons that may hold us back, do some people come to therapy (possibly delayed) despite this, whilst others remain held back (and avoid) by such reasons. Perhaps there are other reasons, unnamed or unknown that organise our decisions, motivations and hopes. Our fundamental beliefs that shape, inform and influence our view of and relationship with the world, others and ourselves. Yet we are not born with beliefs. Beliefs are created by our experiences, circumstances, influencers and opportunities. Therefore beliefs can change. So someone who would never consider therapy with known, familiar reasons may do one day. Is it possible for me to reach you, before you need to, want to or think to (come to therapy)?
What would hold you back, or someone you know back from coming to therapy? How would I reach you or them before the known reasons that can delay or avoid coming to therapy?